Nav latviski

* * *

rakstīja

Sound system in the rental car wasn’t as good as she was used to, but she cranked up volume a bit anyway. It felt as if angsty music was engulfing her like warm summer sea, the perfect mix of melody, anger and pain, grounding her and reminding her that we’ve already been here, we’ve already felt that and we have survived. It will hurt, maybe even for a long while, but eventually it will stop mattering.

She had something to confess to
But you don’t have the time so
Look the other way
You will wait until it’s over
To reveal what you’d never shown her
Too little much too late
Too long trying to resist it
You’ve just gone and missed it
It’s escaped your world

/Muse/

Summer ’39

rakstīja

Summer ’39 was crazy by all metrics imaginable. Global warming hit hard. Global tensions rose. She fell in love. She dreamed an hoped so hard. She failed. She cried herself to sleep more than once. She burned out. She slept.

In a crisp October afternoon she sat in a cafe with a warm coffee in hand and a dear friend across the table. Meeting with another friend was planned day after tomorrow.

Wow, this summer was a wild ride, she thought, I actually survived all of this… And somehow after such a long time I have friendships that just works again. With that… yes, I can thrive again.

* * *

rakstīja

It was a nice sunny day and I had my favorite summer dress with a wide shoulder-exposing neckline. I had to wait her only couple minutes.

– Gosh, you look so good I can’t think straight! – I greeted her.

– Then don’t, – she kissed me on the collarbone.

* * *

rakstīja

The reason why I’m not friends with most of my exes is not because I hate my exes. It is because most of my exes are men, and sadly most men don’t know how to be friends.

* * *

rakstīja

Just for a moment things made sense, all the feelings. She decided to write that down. Nobody knows when the next time will be.

* * *

rakstīja

She is so tiny compared to me. He is so big. I think so highly of them both. And yet, here I am – worried that two of my old shirts don’t fit me anymore.

* * *

rakstīja

– I have to admit, you are snoring. Lightly, tho.
– You however were giggling in the sleep.
– Huh, really? I don’t remember…
– You were most certainly enjoying yourself!

It sounded surprisingly comforting when put this way. I used to talk in the sleep when I was in my early twenties, but hadn’t heard such reports for a long, long time.

* * *

rakstīja

– To distract ourselves from impending doom… Wanna come by tonight and play some Spiderman?
– Yes.

That was a good idea. It made me feel warm inside.

Middle of November 2019